Libby Baker Sweiger

Weaver of Everyday Tales

Archive for the category “Betrayal”

Evil’s Destiny

cloud-computing “When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have  always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem  invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it–always.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

1 Thessalonians 4:13–18 NIV The Bible:

13 Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. 14 For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. 15 According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. 16 For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. 18 Therefore encourage one another with these words.

These two passages, one a quote from Ghandi, one a passage from the New Testament, the Word of God, have two strong things in common. Everything turns out all right in the end. Good triumphs over evil. Life over Death. God over evil.

We who believe in the Bible as the Word of God then should not be living without hope no matter how dire the circumstances. Right? And true students of history should all know the end of the story whether they believe the Bible and have read the book of Revelations or not. Like Ghandi they should have observed that good triumphs over evil and rejoice. Obviously! They should be living without bitterness, hatred toward an unfair and unjust universe and be filled with hope.

Why then are so many people living with despair, hopelessness, depression, doubt and disillusionment, then. Where is the gratitude? Where is the optimism? Why all the heartache? Why is everyone so down?

The answer hit me as I was driving home in the dark down the freeway tonight. It’s because of EVIL. Palpable, Out-To-Get-Us, destructive, human-hating, despicable, LYING, wanting-us-down, dead and defeated, anti-God, anti-good, anti-life, joy-sucking evil.

That is the answer!

For many years when I have been seriously depressed one thought that plagued me was the biggest lie of all. I have a life insurance policy that when I die my beneficiaries get a lump sum to settle my affairs. It’s a pretty good policy. I got it when I was young and it’s going to help out should I die before my husband and obviously I will before my dear daughter. Now we have always seemed to struggle financially. So when I have suicidal lying horrid thoughts, the taunting I will hear is, “You know you are worth more dead than alive.” “You don’t even work, your family is better off without you, look at you, you’re a depressed, crying mess, why not end it all?”

What a horrid, evil, hideous lie!

But it wasn’t until today, driving home that I tore that lie to pieces and expunged it from my psyche for good. I was listening to KTIS Christian Music, as I often do, and I started to turn it down because I was praying louder than they were singing. I was suddenly thanking God with deep gratitude for all the wonderful blessings and richness in my life. Everything big and small, well they’re all big. I felt grateful for everything, even the challenges, because I just kept talking to God and using the word gratitude, my heart was getting more and more tender and I was starting to cry, but in a good way.

I started to thank him for making me and for all He had blessed me with. All I could do, write and paint and talk and share with people and pray and love and give and laugh and love my family and my friends and I began to see my worth to him, as a human, and with Him. I began to realize the infinite worth of one human life to God and to the world …so much that God send His son to die for that one life. There are Infinite things one life can accomplish in this world and the next! Then I got really angry at the evil for the LIE. I began to shout at the evil in this world to stay behind me then and always and never trouble my mind again or risk again getting kicked out of my thoughts ~ because it was so ridiculous to compare the worth of one human life to money.

I realized compared to a human life, money was refuse, garbage, worse than nothing, of no value to eternity and of little impact on this earth compared to what a human life can do. And I started to laugh at the silliness of the lie and the ridiculous premise of it. And I laughed and praised and thanked God for a long time, all the way down the almost empty freeway.

Wow! Evil. It is insidious. It had a hold on me. No longer. Not on that subject. What chased it away? Gratitude. A grateful heart put everything in perspective, God back on His throne and me where I belonged: worshiping and praising Him for the many blessings He has brought into my life always.

I’ve had my share of heartache, sure. I have also had double the share of comfort from my God. My Father in Heaven. My Savior Jesus. The Comforter, the Holy Spirit. Three in one. The Triune God. Always with me. He goes before me. He goes alongside me and as always: has my back. What can evil do unto me? Nadda. Nothing. Can I laugh in its face? Evidently. I just did. Hey, no room for despair. I know how the story ends. Love and blessings, Libby

“Minister” On A Motorcycle

“Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.”
― Mother Teresa

When I was in High School. I was a lot to handle. I was rebelling against everything. It was the late sixties and the world was in turmoil. My Junior Year my mom was spending a great deal of her spare time in women’s bible studies and I know all the women were praying for me. I was like a young wild horse with the bit in my teeth, going fast as I could in the woods, paying no attention to the low hanging branches. I loved God. I prayed, but I wasn’t following Him like I had been, I was going too fast to follow anyone. Except my tight group of girlfriends and they were a bit too wild.

I was not promiscuous however. I didn’t believe in it. I didn’t care that it was the time for free love. I was raised to be a virgin when I married and I was holding to it. I didn’t care what the boys in my class thought about the idea one bit. But I was troubled. I wasn’t close to my dad for the first time in my life. I’m not sure why. We were having trouble communicating, I supposed like many fathers and teenage daughters of that day.

One beautiful spring day a young man drove his motorcycle into our suburb. He was going door-to-door raising money for a “mission” trip he was taking to save the souls of the Native Americans in Arizona. No matter how ludicrous that sounds today, this was at the height of the Jesus Movement and people were buying what he was selling…I’m not trying to demean people of pure intent in their desire to spread the gospel, but I had reason to believe later that this guy was not on the up and up. But, I’m getting ahead of myself.

I was an idealist. And wanted to change the world. If Native Americans would be better off as this man said, I was for it. And I would help if I could. Many of the people in my suburb felt the same way and contributed to this cause, including Colonial Church, the one I had found coming home from Junior High.

How did I meet this “minister” on a motorcycle. Well, amazingly my mother’s bible study introduced us. They thought he would be a good influence on me. Now I hesitate to write about this because I think good Christian people are often made to look foolish today and I don’t want to contribute to it. These were well meaning people trying to help me, who grasped at the nearest straw. Also, this man was a supreme manipulator.

So, I started traveling with him after school on his motorcycle. I didn’t ask God if I should, I just did. I assumed I was in His will without asking. My mom was okay with it because so many people she respected were. This went on throughout the summer. As you might imagine happened, this young man said he fell for me. He wanted to marry me and take me with me to Arizona to help him in his ministry. I was very taken with the whole situation, drawn in and captivated. I was all for the idea. Fortunately for me, I was too young to get married without parental consent. Whew!

I went out of town with my girlfriend for the weekend and had a fun time. I slowed down enough for my guardian angel to catch up with me like Mother Teresa says. I came to my senses and realized this guy was a nut, trying to marry me! He probably just wanted me! BFI “Blinding flash of insight” as my best friend Lynn would say! So I came back into town to break up with him.

I told him so and he talked me into coming to his house because he had something to tell me…I said I would and he picked me up and brought me to his place in town. He lived with his parents still. I never thought I would not be safe. We were talking in his garage and he said that while I was gone God told him that we should have a ceremony of our own. That we would be married in the eyes of God. And I could live with him. I knew something was terribly wrong and told him I had to go home. I asked him, adamantly to take me there.

Instead he raped me. I was heartbroken. Stunned and confused. No one had ever talked about date rape back then so it took me a while to figure out that I had, in fact, been raped. I lived in guilt and shame for quite some time. I couldn’t tell anyone. I didn’t know what to say. I just lived with it. I couldn’t believe I would not be a virgin when I married. I couldn’t believe something I was protecting and fighting to keep was gone and so soon.

I cried out to God. I couldn’t hear His response. Finally I ran away. I ran to a Young Life camp I had gone to with my church where a friend was working for the summer. I thought they were someone I could tell. They weren’t. They were horrified and ashamed for me. But my father found me there. My dearest friend. He took me back to his house and I stayed there with his dear wife and my little sister Sara.

He and my step mom paid me the supreme compliment of asking me to live with them. I did for two weeks and then I knew it was time to go home. I never told another soul until I was older, and it was a friend who loved and brought healing to my heart. My dad was my rescuer, but I was my mom’s so home I went. God healed my heart. And in time healed and restored all that had been taken from me. Was I a virgin when I married? Yes, absolutely! God makes all things new!

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