You Can’t Rush Grief

“We all want to do something to mitigate the pain of loss or to turn grief into something positive, to find a silver lining in the clouds. But I believe there is real value in just standing there, being still, being sad.” 
― John Green

I still miss my mom so much the feeling is palpable. At least once a day I think, “I had better call Mom, or I’d really like to call Mom.” Mid-thought I know I haven’t got that type of phone ~ one that reaches to Heaven! I miss her voice. Our short chats. Her dementia was worsening and our long chats were behind us. I miss her beaming smile when she saw my face. Seeing my brothers and sisters more often around Mom. Talking to them more about Mom. Thinking about Mom. Hugging and kissing Mom.

I don’t like being sad, but when you’re grieving someone you’ve loved all your life: 60 years in my case, you need to take time for it. The fellow with the quote is right. There is value in being sad. You need to feel what you feel. Experience your emotions, not stuff them and make yourself ill. You need to talk about it, talk about her. It’s been hard to do. I’ve been alone a lot. Maybe that is how God meant it so I would take my cares to Him. Spill it to Jesus so to speak. I’ve done that. It has helped. Helped a lot. I miss my wonderful siblings. I would like to see them more. I have been ill. I had a bad concussion and then a cold and stomach trouble. So I’ve been alone. With my trusty companion, the amazing Riley the doggie. And dear husband Mike after work and on weekends. Not a pity party here. Just thinking about Mom. Needing to talk.

Elizabeth Kubler Ross famous author on grief says it’s like a Taffy Pull. You’re going along okay for a while and then snap it pulls you back. I know what she means even if it’s a rather old-fashioned analogy for many of us have never been at a taffy pull. But, the general image is there. Basically one minute you have made progress and the next you’re crying in your iced tea. I don’t drink beer so I don’t say crying in your beer! 🙂

But you can’t rush the process that is for sure. It takes time to heal. A life time to heal from the loss of a child. A parent you will always miss. But it’s a bit more natural I guess. I miss my mom’s laughter.

Here’s a picture, judge for yourself about her smile! Such a sweet one!

 

I love looking at our pictures! I love remembering! It doesn’t make me sad. They were such dear times. Mom was always a woman of Faith in Jesus.  Such a dear one!

See you someday, sooner than we think … we do not know the hour, but in a twinkling of an eye we shall all be change and join Jesus in the air….Love you Mom, in HIS time, see you dear one, All my Love, Libby ❤

When we were young!

With Jesus’ Help, I’m Writing Poems Again!

Davey and I Laughing!

On We Go
A Poem by Libby Baker Sweiger
@April8th2014

Some questions have no answers,
Like why do people die.
Why do they up and leave us?
All alone, high and dry.

They go to be with Jesus,
We understand and know
But our poor hearts are helpless
To absorb it and keep our grief in tow.

We go on and try to live our lives
One day at a time
Sometimes overwhelmed and lost
Sometimes crying all the time.

I wake up wanting to call my dear ones
Reaching for the phone ~
Then I remember Heaven is
Way beyond my dial tone.

Many years ago two babies I carried,
One lived almost a year.
Went home to be with The Father
I cried so many tears.

It’s been so long now, I am rarely very sad
I remember them with gladness!
for the little time we had.

I’m so happy its not over,
That thanks to Jesus, Life never ends.
We believe on Him and trust in Him
And on we go to see them once again!

Another POEM:

Satan Came to Tempt Me 4/3/2014
By Jesus and @LibbyBakerSweiger2014

Satan came to tempt me,
He offered me wealth and ease
I wasn’t really moved my it,
I said “No thank you Please.”

He hesitated a minute and than upped his price
He said if you forsake the Christ 
I will give you three wishes on a dice.

I’ve never been the gambling type.
It was easy to say no.
I said I really wasn’t interested
In any of his show.

I tell you what ~ he sneered at me:
I’ll take away all your friends.
That began to get to me
There were many like bookends.

I told him Jesus was my only friend,
I would not bargain him away.
He’d better leave and not come back,
He was wasting his time that day.

He snarled and left a parting shot,
When you are all alone, You’ll cry for my company
And want me for your own.

Little did he realize the magnitude of his mistake,
For I belonged to Jesus, never His Company to forsake.
And in His Love there was one thing I knew I’d never feel~
The heartache of bereftness, the sadness of Alone!

(God bless your evening and your day, Take comfort in the fact that no matter what the enemy offers you, the Lord is sufficient to meet every need, answer every doubt and will never let you go, YOU ARE HIS! )

2013 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,900 times in 2013. If it were a cable car, it would take about 32 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

It’s A Great Life If You Don’t Weaken

When we were young!

This post is dedicated to my sister Suzy of the blond pig tails and the pretty smile. Her birthday was yesterday. She is one of the strongest women I know and an avid reader of Laura Ingalls Wilder!

“The real things haven’t changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong.”
― Laura Ingalls Wilder

When we were young, Laura Ingalls Wilder author of the “Little House on the Prairie” and many other extraordinary books like “On The Banks of Plum Creek” were family favorites. My mom would make a huge wooden bowl of popcorn with five smaller bowls to match. And we would all sit and eat popcorn by the fire and listen to her read Laura Ingalls Wilder’s wonderful stories. Suzy and I were a bit too old to be read to, but it did not matter, the tales were so engaging so filled with great stories and even though she and I had read them they were fun to hear mom read the great stories to the four of us before the warm fire.

We resembled the little family in the stories on nights like those. So close. Just spending time together. Without modern conveniences. Basking in the warmth of a good book and enjoying each other’s company. Imagine a family today trying something like that. Everyone would have their smart phone out to check their Facebook, text their friends, or play a video game!

But I’m probably selling today’s family short. There’s a lot more conversation, interaction and fun going on than I imagine I’m sure! There certainly is at our family gatherings and we have about 4 generations represented much of the time! So much changes and then again nothing does. Good values remain the same, honesty, making the most of what you have in life, whether it me material goods, your talents, your health or your resources. The best kind of happiness, true joy is found in simple pleasures, love and peace with your life and the people in it! And if you are brave and keep the faith and your courage up when things go wrong, nothing will destroy or crush you! Your psyche will stay in tact.

As my husband Mike’s grandmother Winifred use to say, “It’s a great life, if you don’t weaken.” That sounds like her generation. But it works for every generation.

Weakening to her meant giving up I believe, on yourself and on hope and on faith and God and believing you could carry on. On believing that things would all work out. Don’t weaken in your resolve to have a good life. To make your life everything it can be by embracing the possibilities. Embracing faith, embracing hope, embracing love, embracing God and those whom you love.

It IS a great life!

Celebration of Life Month: Shirley and Davey

I always wondered why my son David always had that angelic look of Heaven. Then he died at almost eleven months and I understood. This quote explains it so well:

“My Tom died as babies do, gently and without complaint. Because they have been such a little time with us, they seem to hold to life but weakly. I used to wonder if it was so because the memory of Heaven still lived within them, so that in leaving here they do not fear death as we do, who no longer know with certainty where it is our spirits go. This, I thought, must be the kindness that God does for them and for us, since He gives so many infants such a little while to bide with us.”
― Geraldine Brooks

Sometimes these days were unbearably hard for me. October was month my daughter Shirley Deborah was born: stillborn many years ago when I was twenty-two and the month Davey died when I was 24. But as time when by, it became easier and I think of it now as a Celebration of Life month. Yes, I think of them, but with the blessing of the Lord on my heart and on my head. I cry a little, but not the big sobs of many years ago. I have so many blessings in my life and things to be thankful for, my husband Mike and dear daughter Abby. I wish they had the chance to have known Davey, but I know we will be united in Heaven soon enough! This is the sure and constant hope of our Faith. And it is such an incredible comfort. There is so much sorrow in life, we humans cannot forget the anniversaries of tragedies or trauma, but we can lean on Him through them, get prayer, reach out, and get through. And we do.

My dear mom died this August and I know she is with them which is terrific comfort. I was thinking about the three of them today and it dawned on me I was having a rough day of grieving them all. Sometimes I’m a bit late in catching onto what I am going through. That’s why I blog. At least one reason…sharing marks the day…helps me remember them and honors them. I believe it helps others. Grief is real. It is painful. It is part of life. It also steers us to our sure and certain hope: Jesus who will help us through and dear friends who we can ask to pray us through these rougher days.

This gallery of pictures shows some of my blessings in this life and in Heaven. If you don’t see yourself, I’m writing this late and night and you know you’re in my heart. Love you all. Thank you for the richness and love you bring into my life!

Abby and I NOW! 🙂

Mike and I — A Dream Come True

Linda and I

Laura Lynn and I in June of 2010

Dad and I

Scott baby, Bill with present, Suzy, Me Mom and Dad all smiling 🙂

My 96 Yr Old Uncle Rog, the Inventor, Just Made His First Patented Prototype

Davey died 36 years ago this month…He’s with Jesus and we’ll see him someday

Davey and I (6 months)